What People Say
This always seems to be a big topic for moms of multiples… The things strangers will come up and say when we are out and about. When the kids are babies it is worse, and as they get older the comments seem to die down a little. Things like: How do you do it? Were they natural or did you do fertility treatments? Better you then me. I would shoot myself. You have your hands full… so on and so on. A lot of multiple moms take offense to these.
Perhaps I am just numbed to it now so I just try to smile and be polite. Some of the questions (like the fertility) I feel is highly inappropriate but to be honest I think most people just want to say something but are not quite sure what to say, so those type of comments/ questions are what come out. I don’t think most people are trying to be rude (at least I hope not). For me, the most irritating is when I am out with my teenage daughter (16). People will assume they are hers if she happens to be pushing the cart or holding someones hand. In my mind I am like “Are you kidding? She is 16!!” I am only 33 and don’t look ancient by any means here. I can handle all the other things they say but this is the one that actually bothers me. Miche (my daughter) thinks it’s kinda funny but there are times when it annoys her too. It only started happening when we moved to Evansville though, so maybe they are just used to seeing young moms here. I don’t know. Perhaps it is because there is such a huge age gap between her and them, but then again look at the Duggers… They have kids over 20 and I think their youngest is around 1 or 2, so it is not THAT uncommon… or perhaps it is. So for those out there who are commenting to moms of multiples: I know your intention is not to be mean or rude, but you might want to try and pick some other comments such as “They are lovely” “You obviously are doing a good job” or something simple like that. For the moms of multiples: I know it is really hard, especially when you hear these comments every five feet when out in public, but try to just smile, nod, and know they don’t mean to be rude (at least most of the time.) Or try to think of some witty come backs before you even step out the door.