Words for those about to become parents of HOM
I wanted give some friendly advice to those about to be parents of multiples… First off, the first year is rough and the first 3 months is extremely rough. Communication is going to be the biggest key for you and your significant other to get through this without a lot of hurt feelings and pain. Sleep deprivation does strange things to a person, makes you cranky, you don’t listen to others as well, you switch to survival mode… and only survival mode.
It’s not easy but you and your significant other must try to communicate everything and really listen to the other. My husband and I had the type of “perfect” relationship that made others jealous, but even we got snippy during those first few months (and even now at times when we aren’t clear in our communication). We knew it was because we were tired out of our minds, but words still hurt. So we always say “We are a team, and as long as we stick together we can get through anything.” This is very true for us. We have had a lot of ups and downs in life, but together we get through them all. Secondly, if help is an option (especially for night feedings) then take. We didn’t have that option, so you can do it without help, but it’s rough. We found that by splitting the night into shifts (when the babies were about a month old) really helped. Michael would take from 8pm-1 am, and I would take 1am on. This way we got at least a little sleep and could cope with everything else. As they got older and started to spread out the night feedings we adjusted the time to make it fair for both of us. Thirdly, frozen meals and the crockpot can be your best friend the first few months. It is really hard to find time to cook or even think about cooking when all it seems you do is feed, change, 30 min break, then all over again… Thus pre-made meals and quick “throw it in the pot” meals are great. I can not stress enough having a schedule and sticking to it. Also keeping a log one each baby: feedings (time and how much they took), diapers (wet and dirty), sleep and awake times (to notice trends), and medication if they are on any. After so many days of little sleep it will become very hard to keep track of. It is also good to notice trends on what the babies are doing. This will help you notice when they are starting to be awake more, and when they start to make changes into their schedule. Lastly, enjoy all the moments you can! This time will fly by fast, and even though it is hard, you’ll want to remember these times.